How To Love

February is the month of love, which means that people celebrate it by giving gifts and spending quality time with their loved ones. This can be seen in couples going on special dates, children making breakfast for their parents, or friends passing out sweets in cute little goodie bags. But what really is love? What do all types of love (familial, romantic, platonic, self-love, etc.) have in common? How do you know you’re truly expressing it towards the people you care about? Well, after contemplating for some time, I’ve found the four components of love, and I can tell you some easy ways to show it during the warmest and most affectionate winter month of the year!
The first aspect of love is the unconditional acceptance of each other’s differences. No matter how different someone’s preferences, appearance, culture, and goals are, you need to accept them and not push them to think and behave the way you do. You especially can’t assert the “superiority” of your own values or beliefs; that would totally alienate them and foster resentment between the two of you. If someone decides to let you influence their perspective, that is their choice (which is more easily made with good persuasion). Acceptance is the key to understanding and appreciating everyone.
The second aspect of love is allowing the freedom of choice to act and think – without ignoring the consequences of one’s actions. Parents need to give their young adult children the freedom to make behavioral choices and they need to communicate the outcomes to help the latter make educated decisions. Good friends don’t prevent each other from pursuing their goals or expressing themselves – so long as those actions are safe (telling a trusted authority figure you think your friends are engaging in dangerous activities is always acceptable). Good partners don’t control each other, and they are also free to end their relationships if they aren’t fulfilled or respected (I should note that freedom to cheat on your partner most certainly leads to the consequences of a very messy breakup). The universe wasn’t made through control, And relationships aren’t built that way either.
The third aspect of love is nurturing a person’s growth by encouraging positive change. Parents show their love by nurturing their kids to be self-sufficient and fulfilled adults, and both friends and partners challenge each other’s perspectives and encourage each other’s dreams. Life is always moving and changing – nothing good comes from stagnancy or regression.
The fourth aspect of love is connection, which is the basis of all relationships. People are connected by beliefs, values, interests, cultures, and other aspects. Connection is best achieved with quality time, consistent communication, and finding commonalities between you and another person. Relationships can drift apart because of a great amount of differences, which is normal; you can take solace in the fact that we are all connected by our shared universal human experiences.
Finally, you’ll know that you love someone when you feel it manifest as warmth in your heart, which then spreads to your body. You may feel giddy or simply beam in happiness. You may feel everything is right in the world even if it’s only for a day. All you need to know is that if you feel this, you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day right!